Written by：Dr. Chang Kit
There are many advertisements on television that target the children’s market, including clothes, food supplements, powdered milk, stationery, tables and chairs, and so on. One of the main points is that making children smarter, or making the most of their intelligence, is a good selling point. This selling technique captures a key point in every parent’s mind, that their child is the best.
Let’s not discuss the truth, logic and objectivity of this statement, but all parents with children will agree with it, including me. However, in the process of raising children, this “smartest theory” may influence us to expect too much on our children. Therefore, we can take a step back and look more clearly. In our daily work, here are five behaviors that fathers often praise their children for.
1. “Two-year-old kids know a lot of tablet functions.
Because the tablet screen is controlled by fingers, the child’s random pointing movement makes it easy to manipulate the screen. There are no adult logic limitations, so it is not difficult to discover new functions that most children can do.
2. “Six-month-old kids can read people’s faces and react with pouting and temper actions.
This response has been medically proven to be one of the developmental milestones for all children. This two-way response to behavior through the reactions of others is a learned response, and children who lack this response are likely to be suspected of having perceptual problems or the first signs of autism.
3. “Three-year-old children can use adult words.
Research shows that children can learn up to six languages at the same time during early childhood, which means that their brains are constantly listening to the words and phrases around them. Even if they don’t understand the meaning, they can repeat it like a parrot learning to speak. Adults who think they are not teaching their children directly, but they know, may think that this is a genius mode of learning, which is not true.
4. “It’s amazing how children sometimes ask questions that even I can’t answer.
One of the reasons why the complaint culture is so prevalent in Hong Kong is that there is no cost: as long as a complaint comes out of your mouth, someone will always follow it up for you, without any effort at all. The same is true for children’s questions. They just ask words like “why”, “why” and “what” and parents try to answer them as best as they can. In actuality, these questions are simply an expression of the child’s disobedience, not a real learning process. Therefore, it has nothing to do with intelligence.
5. “They like to disobey the rules when they play and make up their own new rules.
Following rules is a social law set by the adult world. Children, like people in undeveloped areas, need to learn how to live together and follow rules. So, if you know you need to follow the rules and don’t do it, it’s just a rebellious act, not necessarily a smart one. On the contrary, it is wiser to learn the basic rules first before negotiating for improvement.
After understanding the above misconceptions, it is easy to understand that a truly smart child is probably
1. not only show the flexibility to operate the tablet or smart phone, but also understand how to use the functions.
2. know how to capture the psychology of adults is the child’s natural ability, know how to control their own emotions is more intelligent. 3. Language ability is not the only part of our assessment of intelligence; the “quality” and “quantity” of vocabulary are both important.
4. It is not unusual to surpass a child’s personal developmental milestones at only one stage, but it is the longer-term surpassing without pushing the valley that is noteworthy.
While intelligence is good, good character is also important.